Psychology of relations between spouses, former spouses
Divorce is always a huge shock in the life of any person. None of the former spouses nothing from it. But most often the biggest psychological losses is not the spouse who chose freedom or chose a new partner, and the one that realizes that the remains of a loved one. It is very difficult at this difficult time to keep calm, patience, self-control. Hard to hide the despair and pain from the people around them, and most importantly, from her own children.
Besides divorce radically changes the lives of both spouses. They have a huge number of new problems. For example, women have economic difficulties, if they remain with the children. Gradually changing personal tastes, preferences, changing the whole routine lifestyle, including relationships with common friends, relatives on both sides.
Can maintain a good relationship spouses and former spouses psychology of relations which are quite difficult? Let’s talk about this more:
Is it possible to maintain a normal relationship between the former spouses.
Most often it is women who are forever trying to break up the relationship that brings them pain. After divorce, many ex-wives trying to strike ex-husband. The pain, the hurt, the anger is still very strong. Often caused psychological trauma does not heal for many years, sometimes throughout life.
However, it happens that even after divorce the woman does not release the former spouse of a kind, takes care of him, preventing him to build new relationships and create another family. But then, of course, everything depends on the nature of the former, their temperament, and the reasons for the breakup.
And Vice versa, may also exhibit ex-husbands, although less frequently.
Both of these situations out of the normal boundaries of the relationship and require correction. No need to harass a destructive anger, resentment. Also you should not cling to non-existent hope to renew old relationships, to bring them back. Of course, psychology of relations between the former spouses do not necessarily have to be friendly. However, to become enemies for life cannot. Especially if mom and dad are raising a child in common, which are equally necessary love each of them.
Therefore, no matter what you’re going through, remember that life goes on and better to maintain a normal relationship than to hate each other. And if the former spouse is willing to maintain good relations with you, no need to resist, if only for psychological comfort your children.
However, it is very important to consider the cause leading to the destruction of the family. For example, advice about maintaining good relationships is not appropriate if the divorce occurred because of the alcoholism of the husband or wife, drug addiction, or because of the cases of physical abuse. In this case it is better to protect or even to end the relationship with him.
But if the cause of divorce and domestic conflict or psychological discrepancy, then a good relationship can be saved. We need to continue to live, to strive for a new relationship. Thus it is necessary to remember about common errors that allow former spouses, and try to avoid them.
The most common mistakes after divorce
There is probably no such family, where spouses after divorce would prevent frequent errors. These errors make the tension in an already difficult relationship. So I invite you to briefly review the most common ones, and if possible try to avoid them:
– No one will argue that the main point upon dissolution of the marriage becomes community property. This before the man left the family with one suitcase, leaving his former wife and children after marriage. Modern couples prefer to split everything, and pick up a larger portion of the property. Naturally, this process is accompanied by scandals, exhausting both takes a lot of time and effort.
Often after a divorce a woman, wanting to take revenge on her ex-husband, begins to manipulate the children, who often remain to live with her. Wanting to cause psychological trauma to a loving father who is going through a difficult separation with the child, the woman in the first place, injures his own son or daughter, without thinking, forgetting about their feelings.
– Subsequent, normal relations between the former spouses affects and innuendo. For example, many couples try not to discuss among themselves the cause of the divorce. Such innuendo is causing the tension between them, prevents the establishment of good relations, prevents further communication. So remember that even if it is very hard to talk to each other, to make it still have.
And yet, many women believe that men do not so much as they are going through divorce and family breakdown. But psychologists say the opposite. The majority of men after divorce feel a strong sense of guilt that they were unable to save a marriage. They are worried that they are unable to give happiness to the one once loved. So often, for this reason, try to avoid encounters with his ex-wife.
In conclusion it should be noted that the former spouse is able to maintain a normal relationship, to avoid common mistakes. The thing is, learning to forgive, let go of the past, to break free from a past relationship. The only way you will be able to build a new, happy future, to find love, to build a strong family.