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Insults. React correctly – Counseling, Training Dance movement Therapy


The probability of being insulted in the modern world is only increasing. Our response to these insults, most often, does not suit us. And we think, why not do it otherwise. Proposed to investigate the “nature” of the offenses and, just in case. The probability of being insulted in the modern world is only increasing. Our response to these insults, most often, does not suit us. And we think, why not do it otherwise. Proposed to investigate the “nature” of the offenses and, in any case, armed with the correct units against them.


Abuse refers to verbal aggression, although they may manifest themselves not only in expressions or statements, but also in behavior. Insult implies the presence of the perpetrator, the target and, often, the audience. It can be intentional or accidental (due to misunderstanding or an accident). Heavy insults destroy idealized objects, personalities, ideas. Abuse can exist both on a global scale (political, social, cultural) and to be directed at an individual. Insults carry a destructive force. Reaction to insults is often undermined confidence, anxiety, depression, retaliatory act of violence, suicide, withdrawal, etc. Sociologists also distinguish those insults are actually are neutral terms describing the actual state. But the person with high emotional sensitivity, with a predominance of the role of “victim” and certainly in this case feel offended.

The psychological process of insults is very simple. If someone has hurt you, there is anger and desire to hurt in return. If this cannot be done, you may experience frustration with the replacement of the object of your insults. Although anger is a natural reaction, but natural here does not mean “good.” Anger, rather, closer to a “natural” poison.

Sociologists have concluded that in different cultures there are opposite attitudes regarding reactions to insults. Western psychology closer to the possibility of expressing their emotions. Many other cultures bring up from childhood, anger management, emotions. In the latter case, this may be the cause of the origin of cultural prejudice, paranoia, hatred, abuse of children, domestic violence, drug abuse, depression, etc. the Paradox is that an adequate response to the insult creates more compassion and repression leads to violence. Respond need, the key is to know how to do it.

Respond to insults correctly

Psychologists offer internally to “pass” the next steps in response to insults:

• try to step back and calm down (deep breath; count to 10; to carefully consider any thing; screaming one can imagine “in the aquarium” as “dumb” fish or little Moody child; to take a time-out, saying that you feel the situation is too rude and offensive, and removed until the offender will not come to another type of communication);

• recognize that you are hurt and offended (as opposed to this realization retaliatory hostile reaction is emotional cheating, which only hides the inner vulnerability, hardens attitude to others, insulates own pain, inner feelings and tolerate the negativity in the unconscious, provokes depression, and after you can get the feeling of guilt and contempt towards themselves, the desire to hurt someone);

• to understand the roots of resentment (often we are offended is stronger than it should be, only for the reason that we are already similarly insulted) and the causes of abuse;

• to look at the situation from the side of the abuser and ask him questions, figuring out what is the problem (this is possible if you are familiar with the offender);

• avoid the common reaction to an insult (revenge or suppression demonstrates a lack of confidence, helplessness; irritation at the insult – it’s a normal reaction, but it should not escalate into anger; anger and retaliatory the insult is the desire to see the offender so even offended; incorrect reactions of children to insult their parents can cause two kinds of hate: to power (antisocial behavior, abortion, speeding, late for the meeting, mess, etc.) and yourself (“chronic” abuse, excessive dependence on others, obesity, dependence on addictions, passivity, etc.);

• forgiveness (give up the desire to have someone suffered the same, but instead should strive to make the offender understand their abusive behaviour, felt regret and was more careful in following situation);

• tell about your feelings (don’t start with the prosecution of the offender, otherwise instead of understanding his mistakes will become to defend themselves more abuse in the answer);

• understand that your forgiveness does not guarantee reconciliation with man (real reconciliation is possible only if his understanding of the wrongs done to you, providing you with a certain “compensation”).

If it’s too complicated scheme, please see the following:

1. To understand that the first response is stimulated by adrenaline to calm down.

2. To determine what actually happens, why it happens and how it poses a threat to you.

3. To choose a “fair” response, not succumbing to the desire for revenge.

You can’t always Express their feelings to the offender. Then fit the “Lasher” pillows, exercise, written expression of their feelings, shouting their anger in a stream of water. There are also special psychological techniques to provide relief from severe and long-standing grievances that need to read it in detail and better with a specialist.

Children, it is important to learn how to respond to insults from early childhood:

• his faithful example (if the child offends you, you can stop him by saying, “with me you can’t do it”, “I do not permit this to me”, “I hate this”);

• encourage your children to Express their feelings (for any reason) and to be Frank with you (maintain his credibility);

• not to teach the child to respond with retaliatory anger;

• insults bullies better to teach your child to ignore;

• to teach the child to physical resistance when behavioral harassment (the response must be proportional in strength; it is good to give the child in the sports section);

• to help the child to disassemble the situation insults (sometimes not just analyzing him, but after talking with the offender, his parents);

• teach child to put up correctly with the offender (based on the above positions).

To understand that insults are unacceptable peace will come more soon. Although in France created a bill prohibiting spouses to insult each other. They are prohibited negative comments about appearance, threats of physical violence, imaginary suspicions of infidelity, rudeness and other insults. It is recorded under the heading “mental violence”, and “rapists” will be forced to wear electronic tags. And while we’re waiting such laws simply follow the laws of mental health.

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